From the Velcro Pages of Stuck on Stupid: A Guide for Today's Single Woman Stuck in Yesterdays Stupid Relationships
The Cube Mate
Stuck on your Co-worker
He sits behind you every day. You are constantly engulfed in his cologne and you love it. He is sexy. He is smart. He is single. Hold up. Hes your cube mate. Close proximity to someone for extended periods of time can make them more attractive. You can imagine that someone whom you sit next to 5 days a week, 52 weeks a year, might start to turn you on.
The problem here is that you work with this guy and getting involved with coworkers is usually an absolute no-no. Youve been dreaming about this guy so you think maybe its okay to have a quick romp on the desk. Bad idea.
If you really think hard enough, youll remember why you dont need to date this guy. Hes a Republican. Youre a Democrat. He drinks like a fish and likes to hang out at bars. You like to make it a blockbuster night and sip on a glass of wine at the latest art auction. Your instant messenger screen name is GoodGirl28. His is BigDaddy6. What more proof do you need?
Dont be stuck on a coworker just because you have a job that forces you to spend over half your day with him. Its cool to be friends, maybe even flirt a little bit, but at the end of the day stay on your side of the cube.
From the Masking Tape Pages of Stuck on Stupid: A Guide for Today's Single Woman Stuck in Yesterdays Stupid Relationships
The Clockwatcher
Stuck on the Biological Clock
Youve hit the mid thirties, and you are feeling the pressure to start a family. You know if you wait much longer, having kids may not be an option. Dates often serve as interviews for the father of your children.
Your reasons for going out with a guy have more to do with his genetic makeup. You find yourself assessing his height and weight. What color are his eyes? You try to find out his level of intelligence by squeezing Whats your IQ? into the conversation.
Your motivation is all wrong, which means that the man you find will probably be all wrong, too. Try to stop focusing on the clock and let things happen in their own time. Think about all the times youve rushed into something because you thought time was running out. Did you end up happy with the result?
Many women have children in their late 30s, some in their 40s. There have even been women in their 50s who have successfully conceived and given birth. If you feel you must enter motherhood, adopt. If Angelina Jolie is any example, you may just find a sexy Brad Pitt baby daddy after youve opened your home to a child in need.
Being a mother to someone takes a lot more than just having a baby. If you feel like your mothering instinct is wasting away, work with a community service organization that helps kids. There are many young people who would love to have a mother figure in their presence. You could light up a childs life, instead of counting down the hours you think you have left to produce life.
From the Rubber Cement Pages of Stuck on Stupid: A Guide for Today's Single Woman Stuck in Yesterdays Stupid Relationships
The Spokesperson
Stuck Making Him Look Good
Like Queen Latifah is to Maybelline or Catherine Zeta Jones is to T-Mobile, your job is to make everything about your man look good. No matter what animals are tested, who breaks out into a rash, what calls get dropped, or what cities have the steepest roaming fees, Queen and Catherine just keep on smiling and pushing the greatness of the product they are being paid to endorse. The only difference between you and these lovely ladies is that you work for free.
You tell your friends that all is well. According to your advertisements, there have been no interruptions to your service, and consumer reports just rated your relationship in the top ten. Youre lying to yourself just as much as you are lying to your friends. Like the Psychic Network, your relationship is a sham, and no one knows yet but you. Why keep standing up for a man who isnt being a man? Whether he is cheating on you, driving you to bankruptcy with his spending, or making you an emotional wreck, you need to drop the façade and be honest with yourself.
Your friends, the real ones, shouldnt care if you are single. They shouldnt like your man so much that if you drop him, they will drop you. Real friends have your back when you switch hair colors, jobs, or diets. They will be just as supportive if you decide to change up your relationship status. Youll probably be surprised to find out that they already know your relationship isnt working out. Stop putting on the game face because the only person buying the false advertising is you.
When it comes to men, it is best to get the real deal because you are the only person who can be stuck holding the bag.